Why we even had to apply...
Top Reasons that The 52 Vincents, Winners of the 2011 Rapha NE Gent's Race didn't get an automatic invite to the 2012 Race
- Only three gentlemen - what's with this Gender Balanced Team stuff ! No more neutralizing the testosterone.
- No Visible Tattoos - I told the guys it was pointless to have Rapha tattooed on their balls, since no one wants to see those photos !
- Took the race too seriously - showed up with fat tires, low gears, good brakes, and lots of long distance and climbing experience !
- Didn't take the race seriously enough - spent the day making rapture jokes !
- No grimaces - actually smiling in all the photos !
- Rode too damn fast, the videographer couldn't even catch us !
- Had too much fun !
- Showed up all the single bikes by finishing first on tandems !
- Didn't use the words, epic or sufferfest, in the ride report ! (but seriously over-used the exclamation point)
- Finished the 2011 event before the Rapture - so maybe we don't actually exist in this post-rapturous world !
Epichondriac- One who suffers from epichondria, insisting that everything that is even the least bit interesting is "EPIC!"
Epic Adventure - A long journey usually consisting of you and your best buds doing one or more of the following: Killing a large and dangerous animal, finding large amounts of weed, and discovering the lost ark. (partially borrowed from urban dictionary.)
Example - Todd killing that woodchuck with his bare hands and then eating it - fur, bones and all, really made that gent's race an epic adventure, but may have prevented us from being invited back.
Epic Fail - A mistake of such monumental proportions that it requires its own term in order to successfully point out the unfathomable shortcomings of an individual or group.
Example - Rapha not inviting the 2011 winners of NE Gent's Race back the following year was an epic fail.
It's an Election Year
- The Fixer - Too young (according to the Constitution)
- Vampire Slayer - Too young and outspoken (you should have seen her reaction to our snubbing)
- The Jokester - Is Al Franken still funny? Humor and politics don't mix. Keep the funny guy funny!
- Bat Whisperer - No outspoken whacko left wing liberal like her could ever get elected...
- ShammyRocker - He's certainly diplomatic. But it is Irish Diplomacy - the ability to tell someone to go to hell and have them look forward to the journey. Lack of citizenship would have the birther's up in arms.
- Mother of Three - Well there was no such thing as democracy when I tried it on my mother, but maybe she could use that powerful mother's withering look to get Congress in line!
- Active Coaching Style
- Innovative Massage Techniques
- Wheel Truing Skills
We want to recognize the great woman behind every Champion!